The Great Midnight Cookie Heist

As told by Loki

Every cat has their moment of glory. Mine just happened to be around 2:47 a.m., when the house was dark, quiet, and filled with possibilities.

Tonight's the night. It all started around 2:47 a.m. You know, the sacred hour when our humans are deep asleep. Our dads, Kyle and Chase, were making their usual nightly noises, dreaming about us, I'm sure! The house was quiet and dark. I disappeared into the shadows with only my yellow eyes showing. I, Loki, the cleverest one in our little group, knew that tonight we would feast!

The target: that cookie that was left on the counter. It sat there begging to be snatched up. My whiskers twitched just thinking about it. It was go time! Operation Midnight Snack was a go.

I gathered the crew. Athena, the overachiever and planner of the group, began to devise the plan. "We'll need to make sure we don't wake our humans," she whispers. "Kyle's a light sleeper. Sapphie, you make sure you stay on the bed, purr, and do whatever it takes to keep them asleep." Sapphie, being the well-behaved cat she was, agreed and curled up between Chase and Kyle, purring softly. Little did she know she was drafted into this plan as a key part. History demonstrates that her presence in bed is the perfect distraction if our dads happen to stir.

As Athena and I were about to start, she got sidetracked with something shiny on the nightstand. "Athena, let's go; don't do that..."...tink...tink...tink. Athena was playing with Chase's watch. Not now! We are on a time crunch! Crash!!!! Athena bolted from the room. As the watch fell to the floor, echoing in the silence of the night. Kyle tossed in his sleep and muttered, "Loki, I swear to God!" Ugh! Like, it's always me?! Chase rolled over and mumbled, "They are just playing; Sapphie is here and purring." Puurrrfect, they aren't waking up. I follow Athena out of the room and downstairs to the kitchen.

With the coast clear, Athena and I slipped out of the room. My tail twitched with excitement at the fun we were about to have. If the cookie was our ultimate goal, this next step was the warm-up.

 We crept into the kitchen, and there I spotted an even better opportunity. The pantry door was cracked. "Psssst, Athena, I think I see a bag of something in the pantry," I whispered. We pawed at the door until it swung wide. "Oh...my...god," Athena gasped, "Look at all the food!" Athena is in shock. "We've hit the motherlode!" She said between gasps.

I went for the first bag I saw and tugged at it. It wouldn't budge. "Let me at it," Athena says, taking the corner of the bag and jumping back, pulling it with her. The bag toppled to the floor, knocking over stacked cans. The bag explodes, sending white powder flying everywhere! "Oh no! They will be so mad." I said. As we sit there contemplating our next move. White dust floated down from the air like snow. We were covered from whisker to tail, then something caught my eye through the haze...

There it was, the cookie on the counter. Untouched. Absolutely glorious. A prize waiting to be won! Graceful as a shadow, I leaped onto the counter, making my move. Athean followed, landing like a gymnast who had rehearsed this move a thousand times. "I'll handle the paper bag," she exclaimed. Athena grabbed it and tore it open like it owed her some catnip. The cookie flew onto the floor, and I jumped down to sample the goods. We tore into that cookie, sending crumbs everywhere. It was the best thing I'd ever tasted. "This is far superior to the brown rocks they feed us," I say between mouthfuls. We demolished that cookie, leaving behind a magnificent mess.

The aftermath was chaos. Chase had to clean up all the flour that had spilled on the floor. Kyle went searching for Athena, who was hiding behind the couch. I stood proudly, knowing I executed a near-perfect heist. I I knew they wouldn't punish me because I am truly the king of this household. Sure, I got yelled at. But that cookie was worth it!

Eventually, the humans forgave us; we manipulated them, as we do with our cuteness, biscuit making, and purrs. Before long, we were getting pets and cuddles. Kyle looked at me and told me, "You're freakin' lucky you're so damn cute; otherwise you'd be out on the streets!"

Yeah...right. Sure, Jan.